Every relationship has its ups and downs. After all, nobody is without their flaws. But some aspects of relationships can be much more challenging than others.
Addiction within a relationship is one of those challenges and while it can tear relationships apart, it can also be an experience that brings people closer together if they see the other side too.
For many partners, helping their loved one through addiction is a must. At rehab centres like Primrose Lodge, an alcohol detox clinic in Surrey, they even have therapy and support in place for partners. On the other hand, some partners find it too much and the behaviour of their loved one too difficult and too unsafe to be a part of their journey, or lack of. There’s no right or wrong answer. Ultimately, it’s what’s best for the individual.
But what is it actually like to love someone who is struggling with addiction?
The Emotional Rollercoaster
Well, there’s no better way to put it than it being an emotional rollercoaster. The unpredictable nature of someone living with an addiction can make life difficult, scary and many more emotions. It can also lead to feelings of fear. After all, there’s a direct correlation between domestic violence and substance abuse.
However, people do also feel emotions like hope amidst the anger, guilt and sadness it can bring, holding on to that belief that your loved one can get their life and your relationship back on track.
The Struggle of Watching Someone Self-Destruct
During the period where they are struggling with addiction, though, it can be incredibly difficult to watch. Essentially you’re watching a person you love hurt themselves, and there’s often little you can do about it.
You’re seeing their priorities change from you to their addiction, they’re neglecting their responsibilities and they’re going down a dark and harmful pathway, where attempts to reason with them often hit a brick wall or cause strains in the relationship.
It can feel like they are slipping away, but you need to believe that they can get the help they need.
The Impact on Mental and Emotional Well-being
You also need to be conscious of your own wellbeing. Living with and loving someone with addiction can take its toll on your own mental health. We often become so focused on helping our loved one that we forget our own wellbeing, leading to the likes of stress and burnout.
What’s more, codependency can become a common problem in relationships, with happiness and self-worth becoming tied to their actions, with you feeling responsible for fixing them and sacrificing your own needs as a result.
The Struggle Between Love and Letting Go
One of the main things people become conflicted by is making the decision between loving and letting go. Love alone can’t cure addiction and while you showing support is vital, it is up to them to take responsibility for their condition and getting help.
There could be a point where you need to let go and refuse to enable their destructive behaviour and prioritise your own wellbeing, and while that can be a difficult decision to make, it can also be a necessary one, not just for you but for them too.
Seeking professional help, whether for the person struggling or for yourself, can provide guidance. Therapy, support groups like Al-Anon (for families of alcoholics), and addiction specialists can offer valuable coping strategies.
Finding Hope and Strength
Despite the pain, there is hope. Many people recover from addiction, rebuild their lives, and repair relationships. Recovery is a long and challenging process, but with the right support, it is possible.
For loved ones, finding strength means learning to set boundaries, seeking support, and practising self-care. It is okay to love someone from a distance if necessary. Remember that you cannot control another person’s choices, but you can choose how you respond and take care of yourself in the process.
Loving someone with an addiction is one of the hardest things a person can go through. But by balancing love with self-preservation, you can navigate this journey with compassion, resilience, and hope.
